Finding rest

I thought I'd comment on the changes I've seen in the past week since it's been that long now since I implemented my new "let cry with company" method of dealing with my kids. It has not been a completely smooth journey, but all in all I am pleased with how things have come along. I admit that I have let my kids cry some in the process of going down for naps (that is, I've let them cry on their own without me going to them) because frankly I was beginning to feel a little desperate myself at the thought of putting them down for naps becoming a half hour ordeal every day. But I have tried to be attentive and free with the snuggles as I put them to bed and attentive to their upsets when it's not naptime, and thankfully the bouts of crying at naptimes has never lasted longer than seven minutes. I feel like we've crossed the hump and we're beginning to find a rhythm again. Praise God! And we are binky free during the day, so as things appear now, I'd say mission accomplished with hopefully minimal damage. They still sometimes ask for the binky when it's naptime, but even when I say no there are no erruptions of protest like there were last week and over the weekend. I'm happy with our results so far.

So now that the crying and tantrum issues seem less monumental, I'm back to feeling a little more content and capable with my brood. For a few days there I was pretty shaken up, not so much with the crying as I was with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to be there for all three of them and knowing that it just was not physically possible. Today I am feeling upbeat though, and the sun is shining and we are having a good day. We're having a good week, really. It started with Tuesday, when my day started horribly and took a turn for the much better when speech therapy was canceled (that was part of the bad start) and we took the opportunity to get out of the house. Sometimes I'm disinclined to go out, even when the weather allows, because I anticipate so much work. But it's almost always worth it, and Tuesday was great. I piled the kids in the triple stroller and we walked into town to Bellizzi, the pizza place with a great play area for little ones. We all ate pizza for lunch and they played while I chatted with other moms. I was so glad I got out of the house, and pretty proud of myself for braving a restaurant on my own! I met another mom who asked if my kids started out in the NICU when they were born. She currently has a baby girl in the NICU. She was born at 29 weeks and the morning that I met her the mom had learned she had some blood infection or disorder, on top of everything else already plaguing her little body. I told the mom I would pray for her and just came away feeling so grateful for my healthy kids. Every once in a while I get a reminder of how incredibly fortunate I am to have three strong, healthy, active toddlers, especially given the chances that something could have so easily gone wrong. I try to count my blessings every day, but it's nice in some ways to come across those moments that really make you feel grateful, not just know it in your head.